1) Is this really my calling?
2) Where do I need to go?
3) Who do I need to contact?
4) When will my time come?
5) Will I sell any work?
6) What is the next painting that I need to work on?
7) What can I do to expand to more viewers?
8) What galleries, or shows should I apply to?
So as I am feeding my son his squash and my husband is building a shelving unit outside in the freezing cold (We were going through an ICE STORM), and see the email that I did not get in to the festival I truly became upset. My husband comes in from outside and sees me and asks "what's wrong" I let him know "I did not get accepted" "Accepted for what?" he asked. I then respond the art show. He then comes sits next to me and starts to console me with his words. After I start numerating all the negatives, he then says "babe you are only looking at the negative, you have accomplished many things." He starts to remind me of the different shows I have been a part of, the publication that I had and some of the purchased art works. Little by little I start to feel better, still some what upset. I finish feeding my son and just think about those opportunities that I have had. We then go into our extra bedroom and my husband built me this unit for all of my paints and supplies, he blew me away with everything he did, considering the weather. I mean he even made me a bench and a few more things to be able to organize all of my stuff.
It was great and my studio space is starting to really come together, the space is more practical then it was before, if feels great!
Later on today I get a phone call from a really great friend, we started talking. I knew she had been going through some things lately and just wanted to know how she was doing. She let's me know what is going on, and I immediately felt bad for becoming so upset about the fact that I did not get in the show. After listening to her and what is going on, I felt as though what I am going through is not as bad as it could really be. After getting off the phone I just kept thinking of this sweet girl and how I hope things get better for her real soon. Probably an hour passes and I get on facebook, I then see some of the people that are artists as well and begin to get the feeling of disappointment again. I see that they are getting their work out there and that they are selling and getting into showings. I truly am happy for them, and I hope they reach all the success that they can, because I know they have worked hard for it. However I feel upset because I want to see improvement from my end.
Now that the day is winding down and we put our son down to go to sleep, I sit down with some coffee and truly start analyzing the situation and just think.
I am blessed, I have a husband who loves me that will build things for me no matter how cold and wet it may be outside. I have a son that needs me and loves me and never ceases to make me smile. I have health, and aspirations to make it big one day in the art world. No matter how many times I may fall and fail (which I know will be many), I must get back up and keep trying. My husband says he has faith in me, and will keep supporting me. My family has been very supporting of my arts, they seriously have gone to almost all of my shows and have let people know about me. I know that this discouragement that I felt today will be gone with in a few weeks. Also after talking with my friend it truly just reminded me that everything happens according to the will of God. I know there is a reason for me not making it into this festival, what the reason is I do not know right now, but I do know that I have a mighty God who sees further than I will ever be able to. Who knows maybe by the time the deadline came to pay for the booth fee which was over $300.00 we wouldn't have the money. Maybe the fact that the festival landed on the weekend of my first born 1st birthday. What ever the reason may be, I know that if it did not happen is for something and that when one door closes another one opens. One of the things for me or that I have always believed is that one should work in what they love, and I just want to work in what I love and be able to help in supporting my family financially. I do have a part time job teaching Spanish so I do not just sit and not help out, however my dream is to just be able to paint. I know right now that this is a battle God wants me to go through, because He truly wants me to depend on Him. It is also crazy because for the past few weeks God has been ministering to me through bible studies and preaching's about this situation. Every study and preaching that I have heard lately has been about this very thing, how to glorify God through our talents, and not let other people bring us down, and to not give up easily. We must keep fighting for it and putting it in the hands of the Lord. So I know me going through this is just a molding situation, I am being molded to a better me. The way a clay master molds their pieces to the utmost best.
I am not going to surrender and give up because of this, I will keep pushing forward till I get to where I must get. When that day comes I know I will be able to look back and be happy and conformed with everything that I went through. All of the situations we face is for a purpose and that which does not kill us, only makes us stronger. This being said, I am out and best wishes to all of you who are working hard to make a living and helping those around you.
 |
| Studio Space is coming together, it is a very good feeling. The fact that I have more ample space to work in. |
 |
| The shelving unit my husband made for me, he also made a stool for me to sit on. He pretty much Rocks and is the best! |
No comments:
Post a Comment