What you expect, is not always the outcome

What I am about to write will maybe be a surprise to many. When I titled this what you expect is not always the outcome is because so many times in life we go through situations that we thought would play out differently. Back last year in the month of May 2013 my husband and I found out that I was pregnant. During that time my sister was getting married in Cancun, Mexico. So off I went to Mexico to share a special day with her and the family. Either way while there I started feeling some very sharp pains, they were excruciating. These pains would come and go, I had no idea what they could be. When I got back home I had my 8 week appointment, we were going to be looking for the heartbeat of my baby. Once at the doctors office she started looking and could not hear anything, since I was not sure on my last menstrual cycle date, she told me come back in two weeks. So I did, I went back again in two weeks and this time my oldest sister went with me, since my husband had to work. The doctor started to listen for the heart beat and nothing...
She then did an ultrasound and nothing. (Silence grew louder and louder in the room) I already knew what words were coming next as my eyes started to fill with water. I look at my sister as her eyes fill up with tears as well. Then the doctor says"I am sorry, I will give you some time" and she walked out of the room. All I remember at that point is God you know best and my child will be with you in Heaven. My sister turns and tells me "your baby is now in heaven." Honestly this was one of the most difficult things after my mom's breast cancer that I have had to face. I did not want to talk to anyone. When I got home I spoke with my husband and we both just sat in silence for a while. He was so supportive given the fact that he to was in pain about the situation. We prayed and asked God for enlightenment and support during this time. I prayed and prayed stronger than ever before, and wanted to just feel the love of God. As a testimony to share in my prayers that were in moments where I was alone and at the latest of nights, I just asked "God please I just need a hug from you" I knew God heard every one of my prayers, however it took months before He answered my prayer. As time passed Ray and I were able to try to get pregnant again, so in the month of October I found out I was pregnant,  I was already at least 6 weeks.
we had our first appointment everything went well. And every other appointment from there on out just got better. Then in the month of November God answers my prayer at a women's church retreat. I was being prayed for when God uses one of the ministers to pray for me and uses the minister to talk to me and say, "you have been asking for a hug and you have been humble and have come to me, here is your hug." Honestly I have never had an experience like that in all my life. As a believer it was such a huge spiritual boost for me. I knew then and there, that no matter what can be going on as long as I put everything in the Lord's hands He will provide. The sadness that I had felt about the loss of my first child suddenly became as a positive situation in my life. True it was hard to know that I lost a child, but this situation resulted in me getting closer to God. He then blessed me and my husband with another pregnancy and a wonderful one at that.  My son Ray Antoni was born
June 2,2014 he has been such a blessing and has brought us so much happiness. I do from time to time think of my baby that I lost and remember how God was in front of that situation from the beginning. Then all I can do is give Him thanks!

The day our son was born, was such a miracle and blessing to our lives. I just held him so close as soon as he came. A little about my labor, i was in labor for 20 hours and pushed for 2 1/2 hours and naturally had our son. One of the best and proudest days ever in my life. I saw my husband shed some tears for the very first time. Happy tears i must add and we were all just rejoiced with this gift from God.

Everyday is a special day with my little one, and now I get to enjoy him all the time since I now get to be a stay at home mom!